You Can't Have Children?
by danie14
Summary: One Shot of Halstead and Lindsay where Lindsay finds out she cannot get pregnant.


**This idea popped up in my head and thought I should write it down. I hope you guys like it :) Let me know what you think.**

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"Hey Er. You home?" Jay yelled out as he entered their apartment. He was out with Ruzek and Atwater for the day. He assumed Erin would be home, but she was nowhere to be found. He called her cell twice and it went straight to voicemail both times. He thought she was just out with Burgess, so he went and grabbed a beer and went to sit on the couch.

They had been dating for a year and a half and were living together. He had the ring, and had already received the approval from Hank Voight. He had a plan to propose in the coming weeks at a romantic getaway.

He got up to go take a shower and he stumbled on a pregnancy test box. It was empty. He looked around, but he couldn't find the test.

Halstead heard the door open and hoped it was Erin.

"Hey." Halstead got closer and gave her a hug. She was distant. He grabbed her hands. "I have a question to ask you. Are you pregnant?" Jay asked giving her a grin proving how happy he was.

She looked at his smile and tears fell down her face. She shook her head as she started heavily crying.

"Hey, come here." Jay said as he pulled her head into his chest. "We can try again, Er. We will have kids someday."

"No, we won't." Erin said crying into his chest.

Jay stood there confused. "Why?"

"Not only did they tell me I'm not pregnant, but they told me I'm never going to be."

"You can't have children?"

"No. I'm sorry, Jay." She pulled away and walked into the bedroom.

"Er, this isn't your fault. We'll see a specialist. We're not giving up." He followed her into the bedroom and stood right in front of her.

"She was a specialist, Jay." Erin said as she cried harder. "You know, I never thought I wanted kids, God I thought I would be such a horrible mother, until I met you. And then right when I had the yearning for kids, for our babies, I find out that I can't have children. It's the universe telling me that I should not procreate."

"Erin, you can't think like that. We'll keep trying. If not, we can adopt." Jay said. He was heartbroken, but he loved Erin Lindsay.

"Jay, just go. Go build a life for yourself with someone that can provide you with a stable life and a family, cause I sure as hell can't provide you with that."

"Baby, don't say stuff like that. I love you, not anyone else. Erin, I'm not going anywhere."

"Jay, you've already sacrificed enough for me. I know you want children, and I can't provide that to you. It's better if you go."

"Erin, yes I want children. But I want them with you and only you. We'll figure this out, I promise."

Erin started crying and he pulled her to his chest and hugged her tightly.

"You deserve better, Jay. You're an amazing man, you deserve better." Erin said hitting his chest.

"Erin, you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I'm not letting you go. You're more than everything I could have ever wanted," Jay said kissing the top of her head.

"Except providing you with children." Erin replied pulling away once again.

"Stop. We'll try again, and we'll adopt. Erin, I love you and we're going to get through this together."

"Why me? Why do you love me, Jay? You can have a better life, but you choose to have one with me, an ex-drug addict who went down the rabbit hole again and again and…"Erin tried to continue, but was cut off by Jay.

"Erin Lindsay, why do you put yourself down like that? You are so much better than you put yourself out of be. You are beautiful inside and out. Baby, I love you because despite everything you care for the people you love. No matter what shit your mother puts you through, you still find a way to forgive her time and time again. Even if I tell you to let her be and not give her the time of day, you still do. Because, Erin Lindsay your heart is bigger than anyone's that I have ever met. You love where love is not deserved. Look at how you changed Nadia's life around, you saved her from a life a drugs, prostitution, and low points in life. You let her die knowing that she was loved by so many people, that she turned her life around. Er, the way you are with the children that we find makes me love you more and more; you put your emotion into it. You have a beautiful smile that you barely show. When you smile around me, it warms my heart Er. You've made me the happiest person when we got back together. Will even said how much happier I am with you in my life. Er, if you want to hear why I love you I can go on all night. You're the one for me, no matter what." Tears were streaming down his face.

Erin could not help but feel so much love for her boyfriend. He truly was the best man that she had ever met, he was the one for her. But she wasn't sure if she was the one for him.

"Do you actually think I would ever want to leave you, baby?" Jay asked. He let go of her hands and went to his drawer and took out a velvet box. He came back to her.

"Is that...Jay?" Erin was shocked and overwhelmed with love and guilt towards her partner.

"I never want to leave you, Er. You're the one for me. You're it for me."

She put her hands on the box as a way to stop him from opening the box to reveal what she knew was in the box "Jay, you're it for me. But, are you sure, I'm it for you. Jay, I want you to really think about this. I know you want kids, please go find your happiness."

"Shh. You are my happiness, Er. You're the one for me, Erin Lindsay." He opened the box and got on one knee.

The ring was so beautiful. She fell in love with it instantly. Tears streamed down her face. "Jay…" She shook her head.

"Erin Lindsay, from the day I met you, God even when you treated me so badly, I knew you were the one for me. I've loved you ever since. Even after everything that we've been through, you're the only one I want in my life Erin. I don't want anyone else. It's okay if you can't get pregnant. Baby, that's not your fault. We have other options. No matter where life takes us, I want to do it together. Please give me that chance. Erin Lindsay, would you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"Jay, I would love to. But are you sure you'll be happy with me?" Erin asked as tears streamed down her face.

"Of course I will. You're the only one that I want. So I'm going to ask you again, Erin Lindsay, would you marry me?"

"Yes. Yes, HELL YES." Erin yelled out. Jay got up and wiped her tears before crashing his lips against hers. "I love you so much Jay Halstead."

"I love you, Erin. So much." Jay smiled as he took the ring out of the box and put it on her finger.

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 **One Year Later**

For four months, Jay and Erin Halstead tried again and again to get pregnant, but had no luck. It was heartbreaking for them both, it took a lot out of them. After the fourth month, they decided to quit and start looking into adoption agencies. They were in the process of getting interviewed.

Jay and Erin Halstead were on a hunt and both were running after a suspect. Erin stopped because she ran out of breath and felt nauseous.

"Jay go, I'm fine. Get him"

"Er." He said slowing down to make sure his wife was okay.

"Jay, go."

Jay ran after the suspect. After a long chase and a fight, he caught him.

Erin Halstead threw up and got herself together and headed back to the car.

Jay walked back and handed the guy over to Voight.

"Er, are you okay?" He said as he approached Erin and rubbed the side of her arms.

"Yeah I just got nauseous and threw up. I probably have the stomach flu"

"That's the second time you've thrown up today.

"Jay, I'm fine seriously." Jay leaned in to hug her. She hugged him back, but then pulled away.

"Your cologne is making me sick."

Halstead thought about what she said and it hit him. Jay smiled at her with the biggest grin.

"Jay why are you smiling?"

"I mean look at the signs. you were disgusted of my cologne and you threw up twice. What if you're…" Jay Halstead smiled like a little boy.

"Baby, we've been down this road. I don't want you to get your hopes up." She didn't want to break his heart again, but she honestly did not think she was pregnant. They tried for months and she could not get pregnant.

"Maybe you are, Er." Jay said. He put his hand on her flat stomach. "Let's have faith, Er. These are good signs. Plus your breasts did seem fuller lately" He smirked.

He kissed her immediately. As he let go, he smiled.

"C'mon," Jays smile stayed on his face, he grabbed Erin's hand and he opened the car door for her. "Let's go find out."

"Congratulations to the both of you. You are pregnant, Erin." Their doctor told them. "I guess, I was wrong, you do have a chance of conceiving."

"We're pregnant?" Erin Halstead looked up at her husband who was the happiest man in the world.

"Baby, we're pregnant." Jay said, with teary eyes, as he leaned down and kissed his wife intimately.

"You were right." Erin started crying. "Good job daddy."

"Hell yes, daddy was right." Jay wiped the tears that fell down his wife's face before placing his hand on her still-flat stomach. "Right baby?"

Erin looked at her husband who was talking to their unborn child and could not be happier. Who knew her life would end up like this? With the best husband in the world and a baby who she never thought she would or could have. At that moment, she could not be happier.

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